SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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