p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize