sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize