moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize