He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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