Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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