3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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