Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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