babies were throwing up all over the place
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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