my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
