hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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