I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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