quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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