Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
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Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
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I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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