i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize