and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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