Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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