3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize