Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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