no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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