Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
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his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
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How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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