She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize