Welp...herpes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
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I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
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Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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