Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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