I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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