he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize