You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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