Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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