yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize