their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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