i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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