The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
he high fived his dick after we had sex
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize