Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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