1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
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I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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