i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We are all done wearing pants today
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize