There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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