The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I think my moral compass just broke
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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