is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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