summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Come on in and take your pants off
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