Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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