So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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