You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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