my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize