guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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