JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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