his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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