I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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