I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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