she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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