if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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